Gigantic Idiot

Frozen Bagels and Butter Knives Don't Mix

I freeze my bagels. That way they last longer. And I stick them in the microwave a few seconds, so I can cut them in half before toasting them.

Not sure what this morning’s bagel had against me, but it didn’t thaw quite as planned. And big surprise, my butter knife cut right through the bagel and my left index finger.

Have mercy! I ran straight to the sink and ran cold water over it, repeating to myself, “Don’t pass out. Don’t pass out.” At some point I got a glimpse of the half inch of skin that was dangling from my pointer. But I didn’t look long; just got a Band-Aid on it before it started gushing blood.

I checked it out tonight. Gave it some peroxide. Trimmed off the flap. New bandage. And it’s still throbbing.

And I’m a pansy. I’m not sure if I’ll ever get full function back in my hand. Might as well chop the whole thing off.

I guess it’s up to the doctors to decide. As for you, tell me, am I brilliantly creative or a gigantic idiot?



2 thoughts on “Frozen Bagels and Butter Knives Don't Mix

  1. Goof ball – keep your fingers out of the way of knives! If you can change a tire you can survive a cut from slicing your bagel. Love ya’, Mom

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