Gigantic Idiot

#77: Adolescence is just one big walking pimple.

I had a three-point zit last night. When you’ve had acne as long as I have and have spent as much time as I have in front of the mirror squeezing blackheads and popping pimples, you have to make it fun, so I have a zit point system:

  • 1 pt.: Black heads
  • 2 pts.: White heads
  • 3 pts.: White heads whose innerds hit the mirror

(This is what I’m condemned to write about when I can’t talk about running. Pray for recovery.) I’ve had acne since third grade. Well, I don’t particularly remember my first pimple, but I remember that my mom took me to a dermatologist in third grade and that afterward I had a whole regimen of washing to do. Personal hygiene isn’t high on the to-do lists of any third-graders I know, so you can imagine how thrilled I was by this new discipline.

My acne was totally out of control by my sophomore year of high school despite my efforts to keep it at bay with over-the-counter remedies, so Mom and I visited the dermatologist once again. I came home with some vengeful zinc soap and two kinds of powerful ointments. The acne cleared up within a week.

I maintained that regimen through college but put it aside when I got engaged to Chris. See, the ointments tasted awful, and I didn’t want it to interfere with married life, so I switched to Arbonne International‘s Clear Advantage products, which are expensive but do the trick, especially when paired with Arbonne’s Exfoliating Masque with Thermal Fusion. I haven’t used them in about six months because money has been tight and insurance doesn’t pay for the Arbonne stuff. Thus, last night’s three-point zit.

“Adolescence is just one big walking pimple.” — Carol Burnett

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4 thoughts on “#77: Adolescence is just one big walking pimple.

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